i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
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