And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
