I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize
