WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
Randomize