The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
Randomize
