Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
Barsexuality is the new black.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Randomize
