he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
Randomize