he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
Randomize
