She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
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