this boner is exhausting
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
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