Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
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