I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
