My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
Randomize
