there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
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