I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
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