Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
Randomize
