just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
