Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
splinters make it hard to masturbate
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
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