we made out on top of his cat.
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
it glows. i had to have it.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
