so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
Randomize
