I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
Randomize
