When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
