watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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