I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
