It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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