do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
Randomize
