This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
Randomize
