u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
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