Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
Randomize
