You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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