This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
Don't tell me you're on acid again
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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