..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
i came on her dog
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
