You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
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