I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
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