all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Randomize
