I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
Randomize
