I just threw up on my dentist
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
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