Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
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