Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
I think a kid would responsible me up
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
Randomize
