he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
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