I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
Why is your signature on my underwear?
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
Randomize
