so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
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