Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
Randomize
