Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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