Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
Randomize
