She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
Randomize
