I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
Randomize
