Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Randomize
