yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
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