she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
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