Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
I want you more than these girls want KFC
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
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