If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
my vag is so smooth its legendary
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
Randomize
