Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
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