how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
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