Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
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