Sorry, I don't speak sober.
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
Randomize
