she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
