Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize
