I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
